It takes a Dad sometimes

This year my husband has gotten involved with our kids education more, by holding weekly mentor meetings with our children. This has been a blessing in so many ways. My boys are getting older and looking more to him for validation and an example of what they could grow to be. They crave his respect and his time. While I am still the primary teacher, and he rarely participates in lessons, his time with them each week is something they look forward to, and knowing they will be accountable to Dad for what they did that week makes them want to do well. I have walked in on these meetings a few times and found them engaged in animated conversation about magnetic polarities as my son reports on what he did in science, or about building character and following through on what we say we will do, when Dad notices someone is being lax in that area. I am grateful to feel that he is part of the team and that our homeschool is important to him; his support in this area is so valuable. He was not without reservations when I first decided to homeschool, but he has always tried to support me and give me confidence, and he has increased in his confidence that homeschooling works over the years. It is a great blessing to feel that I am not alone in my efforts now, and that he will back me up not only in the areas of discipline but in education, too. I am excited about the future as we grow together in teaching our children.

Inspire....and Require?

I am a fan of the Thomas Jefferson Education philosophy, one of the tenets of which is 'inspire, not require.' Another tenet is 'you are the expert on your own family.' Both of these ideas place a large responsibility on the homeschooling parent. I am wrestling a little with the idea that maybe in my family, inspiring will have to include a little requiring. In my grand mommy visions, my inspiring would consist of my example, the environment I help create, and surrounding my children with love, great books, music, and opportunities. I still hold to that vision and work to be an example of constant learning myself. I am finding, however, that my boys are very motivated by requirements, and even ask for them. They love knowing what is expected of them and having a visual gauge of where they are at and how far they have to go. My goal is for them to love learning for learning's sake, not because they will get a sticker or a checkmark or even recognition for it, but it seems that at least for now, that is an important part of their education to them. So I have tried to compromise by having them help come up with the items that will be on their chart, and how often they want to commit to doing those things, with some input from their Dad and I as mentors. This seems to be working so far. I still fear sometimes that having the charts will mean they will do the bare minimum to meet their requirements and nothing more. But I have found that certain things they are excited about they will beg to do on days it is not scheduled, and they often choose to do certain subjects more often than the minimum requirement for the week. They choose the order they do them in, and often choose their own way of fulfilling a requirement (ie. reading a math classic, math on the computer, creating a math game, using manipulatives, etc). There are still subjects that would probably not even be on their chart if it weren't for Mom and Dad strongly encouraging it (handwriting is one that none of my boys seems terribly inspired to do, ever!) but we keep it short and they seem willing, now that it is on the chart, knowing they are free to do the other things they love more as much as they want as well. I often worry if I am 'doing this right,' but I am grateful for the sentiment that all parents are qualified to be the experts in their home. It gives me confidence that, with prayer and study of my children's needs and temperaments, and lots of willingness to constantly work to improve our educational methods in whatever ways are needful, we will be able to teach our children well.

Back to Homeschool

Today was our first day of homeschool for the new school year. We enjoyed our tradition of a special breakfast (waffles) and surprises that I put out the night before, kind of like Christmas morning only with school supplies and educational games. It went pretty well, although everything took a little longer than anticipated. I think we were just having too much fun with the new school supplies, in addition to the kids needing hand-holding with some of the new programs I am using. I haven't used programs or curriculums much in the past, as I try to follow the 'classics, not textbooks' mantra, but there were a few choice picks that really seem to speak to my kids learning styles that we are going to try this year. We saved up to get the Shiller Math kit for the younger kids, because I love the montessori manipulatives and how it uses all the senses in every lesson. My oldest son wanted to do his math with a video tutor DVD, so I watched that with him today. He seemed to enjoy it, and the younger kids came in and wanted to try some of the math problems with him too. I found it rather dry but they thought it was cool. It's all about what appeals to them I guess. We played a geography game and danced around to a physical education CD with fun songs to get you moving, and over lunch I was able to start reading Swiss family Robinson aloud. The little ones were just bursting with enthusiasm, and my 3 yr old kept asking, 'Now what 's my Next homeschool?' He wants to be busy doing homeschool too. So I did some simple reading lessons with him, had him paint and play with pattern blocks, and trace his name. He was very pleased.


There are still some kinks to work out with the flow of the day, and the structure of time so that everyone has time to get their chores done, I have time to help those who need one on one, and the day runs smoothly. My biggest obstacle right now is my toddler. I have heard Moms complain that they can't figure out how to do their homeschool with a toddler. I never understood it until now. I have had 4 toddlers before this one, and she is just very high maintenance I guess, compared to the others. She gets very jealous if my attention is divided in the least from looking at, holding, and playing with her. When she is happily playing on her own for a change, she is causing havok - dumping the containers of markers and crayons, stealing her brothers' papers, removing the keys from my husband's laptop computer (that was yesterday), and just causing mischief wherever she goes. I don't know if it is intentional or if she is just curious in a destructive way. But it does make it very hard to do anything with the other kids! She is loud and cranky when it is time to sit down and read scriptures or stories as a family, and makes it impossible to hear. I'm going to have to do some thinking to find a solution for this - maybe there is something that will hold her attention for a while that is safe and relatively harmless, or maybe I will have to have the big boys each take a shift playing with her so I can help the other kids. In the past, babies and toddlers have never impeded homeschool, since it was a family affair. I have never tried to separate my kids by grade, but rather tried to do as many subjects as possible as a shared family activity. Often I would be nursing a baby while I read a story, or holding a little one on my lap as I sat next to a child and gave him guidance. Often once they were walking they just toddled around and played with toys in the middle of devotionals, making a little noise but not anything that made it too difficult. Now I understand what those Moms of toddlers are going through and why they might question whether they can homeschool! It is tricky. I'll keep you posted on what I figure out. It may be that I just have to wait it out until she grows out of this and do the best we can.

As much as I have had misgivings going into this school year, and wondered if I have the energy to keep going, I realized again like I do every year that I do love homeschooling. It is so fun to watch my kids learn. It's fun to be a part of it, and learn and relearn things myself. It is fun to plan things that I know will spark their interest (although I sometimes miss the mark on that) and to experience life as a family, all day long. Yes, I continue to need my own little getaways for refreshment and preparation, but I feel blessed to have almost limitless opportunities to spend quality time with my family. There's nothing else quite like it!

Finding the new groove

Well, I haven't been back to blog in a while, but progress is happening. This summer has probably been the least academic of any in recent years, but I have been learning so much. I am finally figuring a few things out that I think will lay the foundation for a healthy home and homeschool for years to come. The first is that our home and our homeschool can and should look different than anyone else's. That is why we are homeschooling, to have freedom to tailor our experience to the needs of our family. In all my efforts to gather ideas, go to conventions and classes, and follow certain plans and philosophies, I have usually forgotten to consult my own feelings, and the preferences and leanings of myself and my family. In an effort to avoid the 'conveyor belt' type education, I have often put myself on a different conveyor belt of trying to follow someone else's plan because it works so well for their family. But my family is unique. I am finally allowing myself and my family to be 'us' and doing the hard work it takes to find just what we need and do it. I am gaining courage. It is freeing, although it is time consuming and for a little while as I do the introspection and study, by all outward accounts it probably looks like not much is happening in our homeschool. But I am becoming educated so that I can in turn educate my children. I'm learning from inspiration and study and watching my children and listening to them. I'm becoming more aware. It feels good.

The second thing I have been doing is tending to my own academic education and other areas of self care more. I am getting up and walking because it feels good and fills my need for quiet thought before the kids get up. I am continuing my classes with Art of Womanhood that feed my mind and heart. I am doing things that interest me without guilt. I am learning to know myself and how to govern my emotions and tune in to truth.

The third thing is getting my house in order. I have felt buried in laundry and housework since baby #5 was born. I finally decided it is time for things to change. My husband and I designed a chore system for our kids that requires a lot of them, and also of me while I am training them, but it is going to be so worth it once they have learned to do those chores independently. They are doing it, we are having good times together while I teach them, and the house is getting cleaner! It is amazing what a tidy house can do to clear your mind! Maybe soon I will have time to actually tackle my messes in my own room since they are taking care of so much of the rest of the house. They are starting to take a little pride in their work, too, and that is great to see. That is the main thrust of our summer right now, so I guess this is the summer of life skills.

The fourth thing is parenting - I went with my husband to a wonderful parenting class by Nicholeen Peck called Teaching your children Self Government. We went away with such wonderful ideas and inspiration. I am doing so much better governing my own self and being calm with them now, and they are learning to control themselves and choose good things by thinking through the consequences of their choices. My husband has also become more interested in taking an active role in mentoring the children and catching a vision for our family, and that is such a huge blessing!

So although we don't have a lot of the 3 Rs going on right now, I am feeling very blessed and knowing our family is growing and learning in other ways that will pave the way for academic learning to be more effective. I still want to break open a classic and read it aloud with them soon, but I am going to relax and enjoy this for now and immerse myself in preparation for a wonderful coming school year.

Visit my article archives

A few years ago, when I was more organized, I was a regular contributor to the LDS national homeschool association newsletter. I wrote several articles for them back when I was all full of energy and ideas (hoping to be there again sometime soon). Anyway, if you are interested in reading something more from me about homeschooling, and waiting for more from this blog, you may enjoy visiting the archives of that newsletter. The other authors there are wonderful too, and there are many great articles listed. If you want to find mine, just scroll down until you get to my name. Enjoy!

http://lds-nha.org/index.php?src=gendocs&ref=PublicationsLibrary&category=Publications

Alysia

Looking back and looking forward while feeling stuck in the mud

This blog has been lost in cyberspace for a while. It has been a challenging school year for us, and besides forgetting the passwords to get into my blogs, I guess I haven't felt like I had much to write that people would want to read. The year has been full of upheavals and interruptions to our routine - more sicknesses in succession than we have ever experienced before, more traveling, and more stress in general. Since my 5th child was born I still have never completely gotten back on top of the laundry or the housework or the routine I want to have in our homeschool. The past month was especially hard as we went throught the loss of my younger brother in a car accident. Now that we are finally healthy physically we have emotional exhaustion and sadness to work through and a sense of not being quite all here or being able to concentrate on anything well. I certainly haven't felt like I have much to offer other homeschoolers in the way of encouragement or ideas when my own household needs to be put in order in a major way.

We have continued to try and fight to keep our routines going that are important to our family - devotionals, scripture study, reading aloud, one on one time helping the kids with their goals and interests, family councils together, etc. It often seems like it is not worth continuing to fight the tidal wave trying to sweep us off course. But we keep trying and hope that our efforts will make a difference. I have been surprised to see that they do make more of a difference than I would expect. Even when I feel like I am doing a terrible job, I am pleasantly surprised to find that my kids have learned much more than I taught them. Often I don't even know where they picked it up! The other day my oldest volunteered to teach everyone about atoms. I hadn't taught him about atoms, but I guess he was learning about them in a science game he had played on the computer. He drew a model of an atom and explained each part. My 7 yr old has also surprised me with things he has read about that I didn't realize he had read. Also, life itself offers an education, and we have had many impromptu conversations not planned in any curriculum, because of our experiences recently. Granted, things are still not the way I want them to be - I want to be a better, more active participant in the process of learning with them, and I want to have clearer routines that we follow. While haphazard learning is still learning, I would like things a little more organized for my own sake.

The one thing that I feel like has really helped me through this year is Record keeping. My oldest had the idea of starting a school newspaper for our homeschool this year, and this has been a real blessing. Not only does it give the kids a chance to practice typing, writing, editing, spelling, and word processing, it gives us a place to keep records of all the things they are learning, and share them with others. It also helps me to see that we are learning and progressing. As I look back through the pages of our newspapers I can remember things I had forgotten that we did, and the kids and I both can feel a sense of accomplishment. The paper also gives an extra incentive for them to complete a book report or project so they can include it in the paper to be seen by friends and family.

I have also been spending more time writing in my own journals. Not necessarily about homeschooling, but about whatever I am studying in my own life. In my art of womanhood classes, I am learning how to capture passages from books I read and journal about them, making notes of how they affect my life, my questions and thoughts about them, and what I plan to do because of them. I am doing this with my scriptures and it has made my study so much more valuable to me. I am also keeping a binder full of the things that I am thinking about and my notes on them - things I want to do in my house, gardening ideas, parenting ideas and goals, books I want to read, etc. I am writing down my feelings and trying to learn more from my own thoughts and inspiration. It is hard to find the time and free hands to do this with many kids to care for. But it has become a treasured time for me that I am even willing to get up early to do (and that is saying a lot - I am not a morning person!). Looking back through these binders and journals helps me remember the lessons I learned before and sometimes need relearning, and reminds me that I have made some progress when it feels like I am slipping backward. And those pages help me remember my hopes and dreams and all the other things that come to me that are too important to forget, so that I can make more of the present and plan for the future. Keeping a record keeps me grounded as well as giving me guidance for what I want to do next. I think of the importance of the records the ancient people in the scriptures kept - what a loss if we didn't have those to read. The records I keep may not be of great importance to others outside my family like the scriptures are, but they are of great value to me.

Most of my entries have been pretty personal to me lately, but I will try to bring more of my record keeping here to this blog and share something valuable to others sometimes too. It is a fortunate thing that we do have so many ways to keep records and share them in this day of technological advances. I find that I like every one of those ways for different purposes. I still prefer pen and paper for my most tender and personal thoughts, but for sharing ideas across the miles, the internet is such a blessing.